I'm back and I'm...meh

I was productive up until I left for Thanksgiving break. I finished one of two weekly goals. Now I'm sick so not feeling particularly motivated, but here goes.

Chapter 1: Introduction
Chapter 2: Evolutionary Cognitive Archaeology: A History (done)
Chapter 3: The Evolution of Working Memory (in progress)
Chapter 4: The Contributions of Neuroarchaeology to Human Language Origin Theories (done)
Chapter 5: Materials and Methods (done)
Chapter 6: Functional Neuroimaging of Early Stone Age Toolmaking Reveals an Executive Function Network (In Progress)
Chapter 7: Discussion of ch. 6 results (done)
Chapter 8: Results of language exaptation hypothesis study
Chapter 9: Discussion of ch. 8 results
Chapter 10: Results of longitudinal motor learning study
Chapter 11: Discussion of ch. 10 results
Chapter 12: General discussion and conclusion
Appendix A: Subject Selection Materials (done)
Appendix B: Motion Processing Parameters (done)
Appendix C: Subject Interviews (done)
References (In Progress)

Daily Goals:

Friday 12/4

• read Perone et al. (2011)
• read Spencer and Perone (2008)
• revise intro of ch. 6

Saturday 12/5

• Revise results of ch. 6
• Read one article for A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3

Sunday 12/6

• revise discussion of ch. 6
• Read one article for A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3

Monday 12/7

• revise methods of ch. 6
• Read one article for A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3
• Write 1st half of A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3

Tuesday 12/8

• Ch. 10 analyses GroupxTask effect
• Ch. 10 analyses SessionxTask effect
• Read one article for A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3

Wednesday 12/9

• Finishing touches on ch. 6 and send to John
• Find several articles for A Developmental Approach section of ch. 3
• Read one article for A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3

Thursday 12/10

• Read one article for A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3
• Read one article for A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3
• Write 2nd half of a Comparative Approach section in ch. 3

Weekly Goals:

12/4-12/10

• Finish revising ch. 6 and send back to John
• Finish ch. 10 whole brain analyses
• Finish A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3

12/11-12/18

• Finish A Developmental Approach section in ch. 3
• Finish ch. 10 analyses
• Write outline for ch. 10

12/19-12/25

• Final revisions and submission of ch. 6 to Science
• Work on analyses for ch. 8
• Write half of ch. 10

12/26-1/1

• Finish What the Archaeological Record Has Offered section in ch. 3
• Finish ch. 8 analyses
• Write 2nd half of ch. 10

      Monthly Goals:

      December

•       Give IPFW talk
•       Finish ch. 6 and submit to Science
•       Finish ch. 10 1st draft

      January

•       Finish ch. 3
•       Finish ch. 11
•       Finish outline of ch. 8

      February

•       Finish ch. 8
•       Finish ch. 1
•       Finish ch. 9

      March

•       Finish ch. 12
•       Submit completed dissertation to John and Bob
•       Finish Acknowledgments and other formatting edits

      April

•       Revise dissertation with John and Bob's edits
•       AAPA and Paleoanthro talks
•       Submit edited dissertation to committee

      May

•       Defend dissertation
•       Walk at graduation

Ready or not, here's Thanksgiving break

I got side tracked by all the additional analyses I have had to do this last week just to get caught back up to where I was. I got comments back from John on ch. 6 at least, so I can start working on that. This week will be tough to get a lot done because it's Thanksgiving, so I'm being more realistic with the number of goals to work toward.

Chapter 1: Introduction
Chapter 2: Evolutionary Cognitive Archaeology: A History (done)
Chapter 3: The Evolution of Working Memory (in progress)
Chapter 4: The Contributions of Neuroarchaeology to Human Language Origin Theories (done)
Chapter 5: Materials and Methods (done)
Chapter 6: Functional Neuroimaging of Early Stone Age Toolmaking Reveals an Executive Function Network (In Progress)
Chapter 7: Discussion of ch. 6 results (done)
Chapter 8: Results of language exaptation hypothesis study
Chapter 9: Discussion of ch. 8 results
Chapter 10: Results of longitudinal motor learning study
Chapter 11: Discussion of ch. 10 results
Chapter 12: General discussion and conclusion
Appendix A: Subject Selection Materials (done)
Appendix B: Motion Processing Parameters (done)
Appendix C: Subject Interviews (done)
References (In Progress)

Daily Goals:

Tuesday 11/24

• Do Baseline ANOVA tests to find the most stable condition and pace across sessions.
• Fix table in ch. 6 (change to center of mass)
• Meet with John about Baseline.

Wednesday 11/25

• Redo Group effect and GroupxSession effect analyses for ch. 10.
• Ch. 10 analyses-Session effect 
• Ch. 10 analyses-Task effect

Thursday 11/26

• Find some relevant articles to A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3
• Ch. 10 analyses GroupxTask effect
• Ch. 10 analyses SessionxTask effect

Friday 11/27

• Read one article for A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3
• Read one article for A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3
• Read one article for A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3

Saturday 11/28

• Write 1st half of A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3

Sunday 11/29

• Write 2nd half of A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3

Monday 11/30

• Revise Intro of ch. 6
• Revise Results of ch. 6
• Revise Discussion of ch. 6

Weekly Goals:

11/24-11/30

• Finish A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3
• Finish Baseline analyses

12/1-12/7

• Finish redoing ch. 10 analyses
• Second draft of ch. 6 done and sent to John and Sobana
• Finish A Developmental Approach section in ch. 3
• Give IPFW talk

12/8-12/14

• Write outline for ch. 10
• Final revisions on ch. 6 and sent to co-authors
• Finish Evolutionary Studies section in ch. 3
• Work out how to do analyses for ch. 8

12/15-12/21

• Submit ch. 6 to Science
• Write half of ch. 10
• Work on analyses for ch. 8
• Finish What the Archaeological Record Has Offered section in ch. 3

      Monthly Goals:

      December

•      Finish ch. 3
•      Give IPFW talk
•      Finish ch. 6 and submit to Science

      January

•      Finish ch. 10
•      Finish analyses for ch. 8

      February

•      Finish ch. 8
•      Finish ch. 11
•      Finish ch. 1

      March

•      Finish ch. 9
•      Finish ch. 12
•      Submit completed dissertation to John and Bob

      April

•      Finish Acknowledgments and other formatting edits
•      Revise based on John and Bob's edits
•      AAPA and Paleoanthro talks
•      Submit edited dissertation to committee

     May

•      Defend dissertation
•      Walk at graduation

These things always take longer than expected

I don't know that I can divide my focus between two or more chapters at a time. I did well at writing ch. 7 but didn't get far on ch. 3. I am still being too overzealous with my amount of daily goals. I am backing down to 3 a day.

Chapter 1: Introduction
Chapter 2: Evolutionary Cognitive Archaeology: A History (done)
Chapter 3: The Evolution of Working Memory (in progress)
Chapter 4: The Contributions of Neuroarchaeology to Human Language Origin Theories (done)
Chapter 5: Materials and Methods (done)
Chapter 6: Functional Neuroimaging of Early Stone Age Toolmaking Reveals an Executive Function Network (In Progress)
Chapter 7: Discussion of ch. 6 results (In Progress)
Chapter 8: Results of language exaptation hypothesis study
Chapter 9: Discussion of ch. 8 results
Chapter 10: Results of longitudinal motor learning study
Chapter 11: Discussion of ch. 10 results
Chapter 12: General discussion and conclusion
Appendix A: Subject Selection Materials (done)
Appendix B: Motion Processing Parameters (done)
Appendix C: Subject Interviews (done)
References (In Progress)

Daily Goals:

Tuesday 11/17

• Practice interview over Skype with Christina
• Finish Baseline ANOVA analyses
• Work on redoing ch. 10 analyses

Wednesday 11/18

• Work on redoing ch. 10 analyses
• Write Introduction section for ch. 7
• Fix table and wording in ch. 6

Thursday 11/19

• Work on redoing ch. 10 analyses
• Write Summary section for ch. 7
• Finish edits on ch. 7

Friday 11/20

• Meet with John about analyses
• Skype interview with Vassar College
• Work on redoing ch. 10 analyses

Saturday 11/21

• Find some relevant articles to A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3
• Work on Minnesota application
• Read one article for A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3

Sunday 11/22

• Turn in Minnesota application
• Read one article for A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3
• Read one article for A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3

 Monday 11/23

• Finish redoing ch. 10 analyses
• Make John's edits on ch. 6
• Write A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3

 Weekly Goals:

11/17-11/23

• Finish ch. 7
• Second draft of ch. 6 done and sent to co-authors
• Finish Baseline analyses
• Finish redoing ch. 10 analyses
• Skype interview with Vassar
• Finish A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3

11/24-11/30

• Finish A Developmental Approach section in ch. 3
• Finish any additional analyses for ch. 10
• Write outline for ch. 10
• Submit ch. 6 to Science

 12/1-12/7

• Finish Evolutionary Studies section in ch. 3
• Work out how to do analyses for ch. 8
• Give IPFW talk
• Write half of ch. 10

12/8-12/14

• Finish What the Archaeological Record Has Offered section in ch. 3
• Finish first draft of ch. 10
• Work on analyses for ch. 8

Monthly goals:

December

• Finish ch. 3
• Finish ch. 10
• Finish analyses for ch. 8
• Give IPFW talk

January

• Finish ch. 8
• Finish ch. 11
• Work on ch. 9

February

• Finish ch. 9
• Finish ch. 1
• Work on ch. 12
• 
  

March

• Finish ch. 12
• Submit completed dissertation to John and Bob
• Finish Acknowledgments and other formatting edits

April

• Make Bob and John's edits
• Submit edited dissertation to committee
• AAPA and Paleoanthro talks

May

• Defend dissertation
• Walk at graduation

Overzealousness

So, I was overzealous with my 4 goals a day to try to meet. I did well in the first day and then quickly fell behind. I think it's more realistic to have 3 goals a day, especially if one of those goals is writing two sections of a chapter, or I could split up readings and sections but still have 4 goals a day. It does feel nice to cross things off a list when I finish. This might make me feel more accomplished. Yeah, let's do that!

As I've been writing the Discussion chapter, I'm thinking it might make for an easier read to split it up into three shorter follow-up chapters after their corresponding Results chapters, and then have one final general discussion and conclusions chapter. This would mean the outline will be...

Chapter 1: Introduction
Chapter 2: Evolutionary Cognitive Archaeology: A History (done)
Chapter 3: The Evolution of Working Memory
Chapter 4: The Contributions of Neuroarchaeology to Human Language Origin Theories (done)
Chapter 5: Materials and Methods (done)
Chapter 6: Functional Neuroimaging of Early Stone Age Toolmaking Reveals an Executive Function Network (In Progress)
Chapter 7: Discussion of ch. 6 results (In Progress)
Chapter 8: Results of language exaptation hypothesis study
Chapter 9: Discussion of ch. 8 results
Chapter 10: Results of longitudinal motor learning study
Chapter 11: Discussion of ch. 10 results
Chapter 12: General discussion and conclusion
Appendix A: Subject Selection Materials (done)
Appendix B: Motion Processing Parameters (done)
Appendix C: Subject Interviews (done)
References (In Progress)

Just realized again that it is no longer Monday. It is indeed Tuesday, so I should have made this blog post yesterday evening. Oh well...

Daily Goals:

Tuesday 11/10

• Find a couple more articles for Basics of Working Memory section of ch. 3.
• Write Speculations about Earlier and Later Stone Tool Industries section of Discussion.
• Write What the Group Main Effect Tells Us section of Discussion.
• Read one article for Basics of Working Memory section of ch. 3.

Wednesday 11/11

• Read one article for Basics of Working memory section.
• Write Basics of Working Memory section of ch. 3.
• Write Bigger Picture Hypothesis section for ch. 7.
• Find a couple articles that are relevant to A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3.

Thursday 11/12

• Write Even Bigger section for ch. 7.
• Read one article for A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3.
• Meet with John and discuss ch. 8 results.
• Practice interview questions on video.

Friday 11/13

• Fix table and wording in ch. 6.
• Work on additional analyses for ch. 10.
• Write introduction section for ch. 7.
• Write summary section for ch. 7.

Saturday 11/14

• Practice interview questions over Skype.
• Work on Minnesota application.

Sunday 11/15

• Turn in Minnesota application.
• Finish edits on ch. 7.

Monday 11/16

• Make John's edits on ch. 6.
• Work on additional analyses for ch. 10.
• Read one article for A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3.
• Find a couple more articles for A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3.

Weekly Goals:

11/10-11/16

• Finish ch. 7.
• Finish Basics of Working Memory section in ch. 3.
• Meet with John about ch. 10 results.
• Practice Skype interview with Mom.
• Second draft of ch. 6 finished and sent to co-authors
• Finish any left-over analyses for ch. 8.

11/17-11/23

• Finish A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3.
• Skype interview with Vassar
• Finish A Developmental Approach section in ch. 3.
• Write outline for ch. 10.

11/24-11/30

• Finish Evolutionary Studies on Working Memory section in ch. 3.
• Write half of ch. 10.
• Finish What the archaeological record has offered so far on working memory section of ch. 3.
• Submit ch. 6 to Science.

112/1-12/8

• Finish ch. 10.
• Finish writing ch. 3.
• Work out how to do analyses for ch. 8.
• Give IPFW talk.

   Monthly Goals:

  December

• Finish ch. 3.
• Finish ch. 10
• Finish analyses for ch. 8.
• Give IPFW talk.

January

• Write ch. 8.
• Write ch. 9.

February

• Write ch. 1.

• Write ch. 12.

March

• Submit completed dissertation to John and Bob.
• Finish Acknowledgments and other formatting edits.

April

• Make John and Bob's edits.
• Submit edited dissertation to committee.
• AAPA and Paleoanthro talks

May

• Defend dissertation.
• Walk at graduation.

Time Is Swift

Time is swift, and I feel it ticking away. I am back to writing a blog, even if I'm the only one who will ever see it. I need daily, weekly, and monthly goals to keep me moving forward.

GOALS

Daily

Tuesday 11/3

• Contact John for a meeting to discuss the latest results. 
• Write an outline for the paragraphs in the Discussion that will discuss ch. 6.
• Read Semendeferi and Damasio (2000) and Bruner (2004).
• Add the last few slides to AIA talk.

Wednesday 11/4

• Write Setup of Experiment and Areas that Overlap with Stout sections in the Discussion.
• Write Appendix C.
• Read Bruner (2008) and Bruner et al. (2011).
• Find some articles that are relevant to Basics of Working Memory section in ch. 3.
• Answer a few interview questions.

Thursday 11/5

• Write Areas Specific to Mode 1 Toolmaking and Areas Specific to Mode 2 Toolmaking sections in the Discussion.
• Read Shultz et al. (2012) and Reader and Laland (2002).
• Read a couple articles for Basics of Working Memory section in ch. 3.
• Practice AIA talk.

Friday 11/6

• Write Speculations about Earlier and Later Stone Tool Industries and What the Group Main Effect Tells Us sections of Discussion.
• Read a couple articles for ch. 3.
• Write a couple paragraphs for Basics of Working Memory section in ch. 3.
• Answer a few interview questions.

Saturday 11/7

• Finish Arizona State application.
• Finish answering interview questions.
• Practice AIA talk.

Sunday 11/8

• Practice AIA talk.
• Practice interview questions on video.

Monday 11/9

• AIA talk
• Finish Basics of Working Memory section for ch. 3.
• Write Bigger Picture Hypothesis and Even Bigger Picture sections in the Discussion.
• Find some articles that are relevant to A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3.
• Read a couple articles for A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3.

Weekly

11/3-11/9

• Finish reading all the articles in ch. 6.
• Finish ch. 6 portion of Discussion.
• Finish Basics of Working Memory section in ch. 3.
• Meet with John about ch. 8 results.
• Give AIA talk.
• Finish answering interview questions.

11/10-11/16

• Finish A Comparative Approach section in ch. 3.
• Second draft of ch. 6 finished.
• Finish any left-over analyses for ch. 8.
• Practice Skype interview with Mom.

11/17-11/23

• Finish A Developmental Approach section in ch. 3.
• Write Introduction for ch. 8.
• Practice Skype interview with Christina.
• Finish talk for IPFW.

11/24-11/30

• Finish Evolutionary Studies on Working Memory section in ch. 3.
• Write Results for ch. 8.
• Finish Skype interview for Vassar.

Monthly

November

• Write half of ch. 3.
• Finish all analyses for ch. 8 and start writing chapter.
• Polished draft of ch. 6 to Bob and John.
• Finish Skype interview with Vassar.
• Give AIA talk.

December

• Finish ch. 3.
• Finish ch. 8
• Submit ch. 6 to Science.
• Finish analyses for ch. 7
• Give IPFW talk.

January

• Write half of ch. 7.
• Write ch. 8 portion of Discussion.
• Write ch. 1.

February

• Finish ch. 7.
• Finish ch. 9 Discussion.
• Finish ch. 10 Conclusion.

March

• Submit completed dissertation to John and Bob.
• Finish Acknowledgments.

April

• Make Bob and John's edits.
• Submit edited dissertation to committee.
• AAPA and Paleoanthro talks.

May

• Defend dissertation
• Walk at graduation.

I am nobody until I am somebody

Yu-Chi's recent post about her long-term goals and my comment on that post got me to thinking about writing with characters. I have always considered myself more of a creative writer than a scientific writer. Luckily, the skill of creative writing has transferred well to my scientific writing. But when I actually got to thinking about how I write my scientific papers, I realized that I approach them very similarly to how I approach writing fiction.

When I write fiction, I really try to put myself in the shoes of the characters I am trying to portray. What does this character feel? What are her hopes and dreams? How would she react in this situation? I should feel so much that I am that character that if she is hurt and crying, I should be crying as I write it. This is what makes writing such a fun journey, but it can also be exhausting. This can transfer to the dissertation. While there aren't really any characters to portray in my dissertation, there is the most important character of all, the person writing the story. It doesn't necessarily have to be me. Because who am I? I'm a shy, awkward nobody with insecurities and imperfections who has no business being a PI on grants and writing a dissertation. But who am I when I write my dissertation? If I stick with myself, my dissertation is never going to get done. But if I am a different character writing this dissertation, a very confident woman who is smart and sassy and has her life together, who can face any challenge with her head held high, then the result can be pretty amazing.

This is how I approach a lot of situations, not just writing. Teaching, for example. Who would have ever thought that this shy girl from Indiana who was so dreadfully frightened of talking to strangers could ever get up in front of a classroom full of students and teach them about evolution? She couldn't. Of course she couldn't. But a different character could, someone who is funny, outgoing, entertaining, and really knows her shit. That's the person who has been teaching the past six years, not me.

Fear should never cripple you from doing something that you want to do or something that simply needs to get done. If you are afraid, then you are simply playing the wrong character. Choose someone else.

Aim High

I received an email from one of my committee members today. Let's be honest; he is basically my mentor as far as my experiment goes. Anyway, he said he had looked over the timeline for my dissertation that I sent him and had a few concerns about me being overly ambitious (imagine that!). My goal is to pump out a chapter each month, while also polishing three of these chapters for publication. He didn't seem to think I would have trouble completing my ten chapters by February, but he said polishing the manuscripts for publication will take a lot more work than I anticipate. I have published a couple articles already, so I am aware of the whole rigamarole. He is probably right, but I don't regret aiming high. I think if you set your mind to something, you can do just about anything. 

According to my overall timeline, I am supposed to finish a draft of the chapter I am currently working on by mid-June. I have written a little over 21 pages so far, but I don't think I'm even at the halfway mark quite yet. I also found out recently that the trip my boyfriend and I were planning to Colorado at the end of June is actually beginning this Saturday. So, there goes a week of writing to get this chapter done by my self-imposed deadline. Maybe I can shoot for the end of June.

Anyway, today was productive. I rearranged my outline a bit last night because I felt like it was holding me back from writing more freely. This seemed to help because I wrote 3 pages this morning.

I. Introduction
II. Pre-World War II
III. Post-World War II
IV. 1979: Contemporary evolutionary cognitive archaeology begins
V. 1980s: A Piagetian framework   
VI. Alternative approaches to the Piagetian model
    A. Steven Mithen's Prehistory of the Mind
    B. Language, archaeology, and lateralization
        1. Endocast studies from the 70s and 80s
        2. Lateralization and language
        3. Evidence for brain lateralization
        4. Evidence for right hand dominance
    C. Critique of stone tools as markers of cognition
VII. Resurgence of archaeological clues for language
    A. Greenfield (1991)
    B. Wynn (1991)
    C. Davidson and Noble's (1989) depictive origin for language   
VIII. Minds and brains of hominins
IX. A coming of age in the US
X. New approaches of new millennium
XI. Introduction of neuroimaging techniques
XII. Summary

You can see that I added a new section (VI). This has been my concentration today. My goal is to read the articles for Section VI.B.1 tonight, and I'll try to write this section up tomorrow morning. I don't know how much focus I want to give to this section. I might skim these articles rather than spend time taking down detailed notes. I might finish it faster than I think, in which case I will move on to Section VI.B.2 before my next blog post.

The Grass Is Always Greener

It doesn't seem to matter where I am, I will always think I would be more productive somewhere else. When I'm at diss camp, I'm thinking that if I get home to my own little cozy writing nook, I'll be way more productive. But then when I get home, the boyfriend wants attention, and before I know it, three hours have gone by and I have not even touched my dissertation. And of course then I'm yearning to be at diss camp.

I wrote through most of yesterday evening and got some more of Section VI done. I finished Subsection A this morning. Tonight I plan on reading and taking notes on the Byers article, and my goal for tomorrow is to finish writing Subsection B. My goal to finish Section VI today didn't happen. This freaking Davidson and Noble article--I've read it probably three times now and still can't wrap my head around what exactly their argument is. I just know it's dumb, and I hate that I had to waste so much time trying to make sense of it enough to write about it.

I. Introduction
II. Pre-World War II
III. Post-World War II
IV. 1979: Contemporary evolutionary cognitive archaeology begins
V. 1980s: A Piagetian framework   
VI. 1990s in Europe
    A. Davidson and Noble's depictive origin for language
    B. Byers
    C. Mithen's Prehistory of MindVII. Minds and brains of hominins
VIII. A coming of age in the US
IX. New approaches of new millennium
X. Introduction of neuroimaging techniques
XI. Summary

Rerouting

After a long weekend of entertaining my parents who were visiting from out of town, you can probably guess how productive I was on my dissertation. But it was always on my mind. Because I never had a chance to work, I came to camp fairly unprepared today. 

Last week, I was pretty proud of a transition paragraph I wrote that tied the literature review in nicely with what still needs to be done in the field of evolutionary cognitive archaeology (i.e., my dissertation), and after reading through it again today, I realized this transition came too early in the chapter. I felt stuck for a while because I didn't know which direction to go in, stick with my established outline or go down a new route. Instead of agonizing over this for too long, I decided to read Mithen's The Prehistory of Mind, a somewhat lengthy book. I was hoping to avoid the problem a bit longer, as well as find some inspiration. I needed to read it eventually anyway, so I might as well get it done now. Using my acquired grad student speed reading skills, I got through half of the book during the camp, and I plan to finish it this afternoon. 

While doing this, I decided to reorganize my outline a bit, and it may continue to change as I read more articles in the next few days.

I. Introduction
II. Pre-World War II
III. Post-World War II
IV. 1979: Contemporary evolutionary cognitive archaeology begins
V. 1980s: A Piagetian framework   
VI. 1990s in Europe
VII. Minds and brains of hominins
VIII. A coming of age in the US
IX. New approaches of new millennium
X. Introduction of neuroimaging techniques
XI. Summary

I am thinking of adding a new section (see Section VII) to the outline that I thought would be in a separate background chapter, but everything I'm talking about in this chapter keeps relating back to it, so I figure this might be a good place to discuss it. I don't know if it will ultimately be one section or more or where it will be located for that matter. I think I will try to get through my established outline and then try to work it in wherever it makes the most sense...maybe before the summary of the chapter.

Reflecting back on my goals:

My goal for today was to finish Section V, which I accomplished, mainly because I decided to reorganize the chapter a bit.

Last week, my goal was to finish Section IV and finish the readings so I could move on to Section V. As you can see, I not only met my weekly goal but exceeded it by finishing Section V as well.

New goals:

My goal for tomorrow is to finish writing Section VII, assuming I can read and write a bit tonight.

My goal for this week is to finish Sections VII and VIII, which would exceed my original goal for these two weeks.

Twists and Turns through the Dark Tunnel

This chapter is actually a lot of fun to write. It feels kind of like an amusement park ride. You know what I mean, one of those rides that is sometimes bright and clear, but then you see the dark tunnel up ahead, and you brace yourself for what is coming up ahead. You're in the dark for a while, twisting and turning, not really knowing which way the ride will take you next. This part is a bit scary but also exciting. Then you finally come back into the light and see the clear path ahead. 

As I said in an earlier post, I am writing about the history of evolutionary cognitive archaeology as a field. It hasn't been around that long, so I was aware of most of its history before beginning to write. But there are some decades that I apparently know very little about, and it's kind of like going down that dark tunnel, not knowing where I will emerge. This is why I almost always write my introduction last because I don't know if the ride will suddenly jerk to the left after I read this article and then take a quick descent once I discover that book. I continue to learn new things. Thankfully, they often they lead me back to the theory under which I am operating, which is always reassuring.

I haven't met my goal to finish Section V yet, but I think this is because I keep discovering additional sources that add to the story I'm trying to tell. As you can see below, I have finished Subsections A and B of Section V. I wrote around 3 pages the past two days and read a book and several articles. I also read through what I have written so far, expecting it to be terrible, and it wasn't actually too bad. 

I. Introduction
II. Pre-World War II
III. Post-World War II
IV. 1979: Contemporary evolutionary cognitive archaeology begins
V. 1980s: A Piagetian framework
    A. Examples
    B. Critiques     
    C. Intelligence vs. cognition
VI. 1990s in Europe
VII. A coming of age in the US
VII. New approaches of new millennium
VIII. Introduction of neuroimaging techniques
IX. Summary

I won't be at camp tomorrow because my parents, whom I have not seen since Christmas, are visiting from Indiana this weekend. We made plans for them to come out when I thought that there was not enough room for me in the dissertation camp. I'm kind of bummed that I have to miss tomorrow, but I think it's good that I am feeling excited already to get back to writing. I will be back at it again on Monday!

Finding that old spark

Maybe not everybody will agree with me, but I think that writing is a lot of fun. I have always enjoyed writing, since I was just a little kid. In elementary school, we were encouraged to write our own short stories. Each teacher chose the best story from their class, and at the end of the year, the school brought in a troop of actors who acted out the winning stories for the entire school. I, of course, did not write a short story. I wrote a full length chapter book. If you have been reading my blogs, then you might think I did this because of my competitive, perfectionist nature. Sure, that might have been part of it, but the real reason I wrote that chapter book was because I had so much fun writing it. And in case you were wondering, I got to sit up on a makeshift Director's chair and watch the actors condense my book into a ten minute show. I knew at that moment that I wanted to always be a writer. I am lucky that I went into a field that requires so much writing. Sure, I probably won't win any awards with my dissertation or get to see a theatrical version of Homo erectus making a handaxe and then saying her first words to her own surprise and delight, but I still want to find that spark again as I write my dissertation, that oh so satisfying feeling when I find just the right way to express my thought process. I think it's possible for any of us to feel this way. It's all in your mindset. 

While I think the morning chats we have each day about writing are useful, they tend to focus on negativity towards writing, at least in my opinion. Almost like a parasite, the negativity has been burrowing into my brain, and yes, I have been thinking just like everyone else, I assume, how daunting this task is, how frustrating it is, and how I would rather be doing something else. But writing should not be a chore. It should be fun and exciting, something you can't wait to get back to. It's almost like you have this secret that is all your own, and you are preparing for the big unveiling. And when it's all said and done? You're going to knock their socks off. That's right. Just imagine your committee members reading through your dissertation, and they are so impressed that their socks literally fly right off their feet.

Now I'm really excited to get back to writing tomorrow morning. How about you?

Writing in Progress: Do Not Disturb

The day could have gone better. Just after commenting to everyone in the room on how great it is to be doing the dissertation camp because I can do away with all outside distractions, I got a flurry of calls from a university administrator about my grant and how this and that needs to get done RIGHT NOW or the whole world will explode! (That's how it feels to deal with her sometimes, anyway.) It's hard to be in the right mindset when you constantly have to leave the room to focus your attention elsewhere. 

I am also relying on my undergraduate research assistants to continue the study while I am at the dissertation camp, which is going just about as well as you would expect. After a trip to Macbride and back and receiving a series of "I messed this up" texts from my RA, I am feeling unmotivated to do much of anything except eat cake. 

So, now that the excuses are out of the way, here is what I accomplished today (red=finished, bold=in progress): 

I. Introduction
II. Pre-World War II
III. Post-World War II
IV. 1979: Contemporary evolutionary cognitive archaeology begins
    A. What is a Piagetian framework?
    B. Parker and Gibson's (1979) application of the Piagetian developmental model
    C. Wynn's (1979) application of the Piagetian model
V. 1980s: A Piagetian framework
    A. Examples
    B. Critiques     
    C. Intelligence vs. cognition
VI. 1990s in Europe
VII. A coming of age in the US
VII. New approaches of new millennium
VIII. Introduction of neuroimaging techniques
IX. Summary

I think I wrote 1 1/2 pages today. I finished one of my sections faster than expected, and I did not think to bring the books I need to begin the next section. I met my daily goal that I set for myself. I cheated a little because I decided that I could probably move the intelligence vs. cognition subsection to a later section. I'm going to try to get through the readings I need to write the next section tonight, and my goal for tomorrow's camp is to finish Section V.

Discovering My Pace

Since the spring semester ended, I have been working on the second chapter of my dissertation, which is a background chapter on the somewhat nascent field of evolutionary cognitive archaeology. One would think that there would not be much to say about a field that has only been around for twenty years. Pshaw, I say!

Before coming in today, I had written about 10 pages of Chapter 2 (not including the outline). This morning, I wrote two more pages. Wow, when I put it into those terms, how disappointed I feel. I thought I made some pretty good progress, but two pages in the grand scheme of things just does not sound like very much. I really have no idea what is a "good pace" for most people. Are most people satisfied if they write a page an hour? A page a day? I suppose if I actually wrote for four hours every single day (unlikely) and produced two pages everyday (even more unlikely), then I would be sittin' pretty by the time next March rolls around. I could write over 400 pages at this rate.

I also have no idea how long a chapter should be. Ten pages? Fifty pages? One hundred pages? I guess I will just keep writing until I am satisfied I have made my point and see where I end up.

My current strategy has been to break down the chapter into sections and then break those down into subsections. This makes it easier to have daily and weekly goals. I am basically organizing the chapter by time periods and the major developments in the field that took place during these time periods.

For reference, here is a very general outline for the chapter I am currently working on. The section(s) I have already finished are in red, and the section I am currently working on is bolded and fleshed out so you can see the subsections. It does not really matter what the outline says or if it makes any sense to my dear blog readers. It is just something to reference each time I report in on my progress.

I. Introduction
II. Pre-World War II
III. Post-World War II
IV. 1979: Contemporary evolutionary cognitive archaeology begins
    A. What is a Piagetian framework?
    B. Parker and Gibson's (1979) application of the Piagetian developmental model
    C. Wynn's (1979) application of the Piagetian model
    D. Intelligence vs. cognition
V. 1980s: A Piagetian framework
VI. 1990s in Europe
VII. A coming of age in the US
VII. New approaches of new millennium
VIII. Introduction of neuroimaging techniques
IX. Summary

So, my goal for today was to continue working on Section IV. I was not really sure how far I would get. I finished Subsection A and nearly finished B. I think a workable goal for tomorrow would be to finish Subsections B and C. My goals for this week are to finish Section IV and finish the readings I need to do to complete Section E.

My overall goal for these two weeks was to finish Chapter 2, but based on this pace, this may be an unrealistic goal. So, my new goal for this camp is to finish Sections III-VI.

The Laden Writer

I am probably too much of a perfectionist to write blog posts. I have already found myself sitting here for the past five minutes, trying to come up with the perfect introduction for the perfect first blog post, but I am assuming that I am missing the point of this whole exercise by pursuing this strategy. This is usually my downfall. I try to surpass expectations, but this means I waste much of my time thinking and not doing. It is difficult to know what to do when I have contradictory idioms floating around in my head:

"The only good dissertation is a done dissertation."

"It's not about getting done fast. It's about getting done right."

If you are dissertating, you have probably heard the first quote at some point. Simply put, it means don't spend more time on the dissertation than you need to because ultimately, most people are going to read your published articles, not your dissertation. Graduate. Get out. Get a job. Period. 

The second quote comes from my advisor, who is of the tradition of taking a decade to graduate with a PhD and has certainly had his own students follow in his footsteps. I do not want to be one of these students, though I understand the need to feel proud of one's work, especially when one's work, at least in my case, involves over a quarter of one's life. 

I was lucky enough to save myself yet another year of schooling by graduating with my Associate's and Bachelor's degrees in three years rather than the typical four, but unfortunately, I wasn't able to keep up that accelerated pace through graduate school, mainly because I'm a perfectionist yet again and wanted to find a project that greatly interests me and would set me apart from everyone else. Being a pioneer, or whatever you would like to call it, means you are going to run into hurdles. Some hurdles were easy to jump over. Other hurdles were ten feet high, and I had to climb and scratch my way to the top before I could get over because I refused to turn around and find a different track with smaller hurdles. As a result, I have six years under my belt already, even though when I first arrived in Iowa City, I boldly told everyone I would be out in five (That's what every new grad student says, though, right?), and I am determined this next year will be my last. 

I have been quite fortunate this year. Out of the seven external grants/fellowships I applied for, I received four of them. Most of these support my research, but I recently found out I will be an American Association of University Women American Fellow this next year, which means that the AAUW is paying for my living expenses while I write because they are "confident that [I] can achieve [my] professional goals and [they] are pleased to provide this support." Hooray, right? Absolutely! But, along with this confidence in my abilities also comes a tremendous amount of pressure to not only get the dissertation done fast, but to also get it done right. All that money goes bye-bye if I don't satisfactorily finish by Summer 2016.

So, this year I have some fairly lofty goals. I plan to finish collecting and analyzing my data this summer, finish my dissertation by March, write four or more articles for publication, and perhaps most importantly, GET A JOB. And all this must be done fast and right.

I am assuming I have probably missed the point of this introductory blog post. I'm sure I was supposed to do the obligatory, "Hi, my name is Shelby. My dissertation research is an interdisciplinary approach to studying the evolution of language and cognition by measuring the brain activation patterns of novice toolmakers as they learn to replicate the process of Early Stone Age techniques with verbal or nonverbal instruction. Blah blah blah." That probably would have been the faster route to take. Yet again, my need to surpass expectations has gotten the better of me.